I just read this blog: Open Letter From a Millenial: Quit Telling Us We're Not Special. It made some good points about how younger generations struggle in ways we were not prepared for. And while I sympathize with some commenters who are older and experience the same struggles, I wonder if the mindset isn't still slightly different.
I was brought up to work hard at school, work hard at my job, and I was told I would succeed. My parents genuinely believe I can do anything. I agree that I'm pretty smart, but anything? Really? I'm too scared of failure. Trying is scary because the've made no room for failure. I settle for mediocre because it's safe. Smart or not, there are smarter more hardworking people out there. There are probably a lot of people with more impressive backgrounds too. As the author of the blog emphasized, I know I'm not special. I'm capable, but not special, and I'm not usually convinced that the full application of my capacity is worth the effort.
I have a Master's degree. I rocked grad school. But what does that mean? Not a heck of a lot. Not much at all. And I can be sensible. I know I am perhaps too educated. When I was worried that nobody would hire me post grad school because of this, my dad said to me, "You did it to yourself." And I felt some righteous indignation. I thought, you're my Dad, you're not supposed to say that. When I read the blog above, I was reminded of this comment, and I thought. No, I didn't really do this to myself because my dad was psyched when I said I was going to grad school and I was going to be teaching to pay my way. He told everyone.
My parents trained me up to be an academic--school was emphasized, but nothing beyond it. They acted like I had a bright and exciting future in front of me, but the vision stopped at that. I sometimes think it's bright, but not the brightness that was envisioned for me. It's the brightness of having a fully charged flashlight in a world of power outage. I have a job with insurance and other benefits. I think that's awesome. Lots of my friends don't have jobs. My last job didn't have benefits. It seems so cool that I have these very basic things when I know so many without. I do not live with my parents, and I can pay all my own bills. Go me!
Then a family friend asked me what I make. Feeling pretty proud of myself because, for a person with an English degree, I think I'm doing fabulously well. When I told her, her face fell, "that's not very much." No, no it isn't, but when I look around at the world today, I feel so much relief in the present knowing that I can take care of myself.
But don't get me thinking about the future. I started paying into my first retirement account at 22, the minute I got out of college. Back then, I was hoping I'd have a second account started for my parents because I know they won't be ready, and I can't rely on Social Security to take care of them. I can't afford that account I dream of setting up for them. I pay my bills and not much is leftover. I eat out maybe 4 times a month, and that's it. My expendible income is exhausted at that point.
Will I ever own a house? I have my doubts. I'm not sure I'll ever own a dog. Will I ever be able to afford kids? Maybe, but I'm not sure I'd ever be brave enough to take maternity leave to pop out tiny people to terrorize the earth.
Do I even want to invest in any of those things? I dunno. My fear about Social Security failing to take care of my parents and being entirely unavailable to me reflects the real concerns of my generation. The nation sometimes seems to be crumbling. I've thought about storing money under my matress instead of keeping a savings account, but then I think to myself, if the nation crumbles, will the currency even be valid? That's the world I live in.
Older middle class generations worried about buying a house and investing in stocks. Now they worry about keeping their homes and losing their jobs. I worry about the entire systems failure. If the banks fail and the nation shatters, I have nothing, not even the basic resources to feed myself. I live in a second floor apartment with a single north-facing window. Plants are doomed here. Maybe I read too much post-apocalyptic fiction, but those are my fears. My fears are not about being unsuccessful or losing my material wealth. My fears reflect a much greater potential for chaos in my future.
A Masters in English wasn't the smartest decision, no. I'll admit that. I should have married a farmer and worked with my hands because sometimes I think I should worry about a future where an education is worth nothing, but I was raised up to be an academic, to meet the expectations of an unsustainable American dream destined to whither before I could even attempt it.
Disenchantment with the life we've striven for our entire lives and eventually obtained? I would not say this is a non-existent problem as I and many other friends of mine (especially those who studied religion, philosophy, english...)share, but, another upper-class white problem? Maybe. I sometimes wonder if I had less time on my hands and did more physically strenuous work if I would be more appreciative for what I have and what I've accomplished rather than speculating what could have been. Is this even a problem, or is it simply a 'benefit' of being educated? I don't know.
ReplyDeleteschurl. this is good stuff. and well said. more like this please.
ReplyDeleteKelsie, I think the trained expectations are the problem, and I hate labelling things "upper-class white problems" because that somehow invalidates them, and no one should be invalidated. Also, I think this is a middle-class problem more than it is upper-class. Furthermore, this issue is not restricted to whites. Minorities who study hard probably feel the pain of education not being the answer more than educated whites do because they're also encountering a small employment pool where prejudices maybe be working against them.
ReplyDeleteSchürl, thanks for this thought-provoking post. I agree that the lack of employment for/underemployment of Millenials (of which I, too, am one, also with a graduate degree in English) is more of a middle class/working class problem because it is simply one manifestation of the evils of capitalism, which is ultimately unsustainable. But Kelsie makes a good point, too, that if you are raised in the middle or upper classes in America it is easy to take education for granted because you don't have to work hard for access to it (and perhaps this is another symptom of capitalism, that education has become a commodity fetish in the sense that we see it as a mere acquisition rather than as a valuable privilege).
ReplyDeleteDaniel, while I agree with both the points you and Kelsie have brought up, I think it's a bit off point. I think you can still appreciate your education while recognizing that the value of education is inflated, and actually, Kelsie may make this point best--would she value things more if she worked with her hands. I think we really need to place just as much value on trade skills (within our education system) as we do on more traditional subjects of education.
ReplyDelete