Sour Cream-Chocolate Drop Cookies

Um...these cookies turned out like little brownie bites, so I thought I would share.

Ingredients:

• 1/2 cup butter, softened
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 egg
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 6 tablespoons dark chocolate cocoa
• 2 tablespoons shortening
• 1 packet instant chocolate pudding
• 1 8oz carton sour cream
• 2 cups all-purpose flour

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Beat butter with electric mixer.
3. Add brown sugar, baking soda, and salt.
4. Beat in egg, vanilla, cocoa, shortening, and chocolate pudding.
5. Beat in sour cream.
6. Beat in flour.
7. Drop rounded teaspoons onto cookie sheet and flatten a little.
8. Bake ten minutes.
9. Transfer cookies to a wire rack to cook.
10. Eat and be happy.

I am going to go eat some right now.

The Master of No-Follow-Through

I am the master of no-follow-through.

I challenge myself to improve:

To run and swim and crunch,
to read literature,
to learn about the cosmos and the mind,
to write poetry,
to finish my novel,
to publish short stories,
to bake bread,
to make pastries,
to minimize and declutter,
to do so many little things.

I stack them so high and so deep
(there are so many)
that I find myself staring at a mountain range
constructed of tiny goals
and I sit and do nothing,
overwhelmed by the magnitude of my own dreams.

But I can hike a 14-er in a day,
one dedicated day of devotion
to a task worth striving for.

So I'll pick one peak to climb to,
make a dedicated hike,
knowing there's no stopping.
I must hike to the top or turn back,
wasting so much of my spirit
on yet another failure.

So I'll make a dedicated hike,
trudging onward until
I can sit at the top,
exhausted, but in triumph,
(exhale deeply),
and then choose another peak.

It might take a lifetime,
but I'll cross this mountain range of mine,
conquer every peak,
exhausted, but in triumph,
(exhale deeply),
let my wearied body sleep.

But for now I'm just still planning,
thinking, dreaming, scheming.
I challenge myself to improve,
to do so many little things,
but I sit and do nothing,
overwhelmed by the magnitude of my own dreams.

I am the master of no-follow-through.

Grocery-Shop-Free Challenge

I'm trying to make it through the week wtihout doing any grocery shopping. There is plenty of food in my fridge, but I still feel like I need to go to the store. Why? Well, mostly, I'm out of milk.

Living this week without milk ruins two things for me. 1) It's really hard to have a quick breakfast when I can't just toss some cereal in a bowl. 2) What am I supposed to do with my coffee when I have given up creamer?

Well, this morning I had my coffee with almond syrup and no creamer or milk. It was okay. I am missing dairy in my coffee for sure, but I will live without milk. I can do this, though I did almost reach for the Bailey's this morning, but I refrained. Starting my day with alcohol is most assuredly a bad idea.

My solution to the woes of breakfast? This morning I had sourdough toast with butter and honey. It was grand. Tonight I am baking up some scones as another quick breakfast because I do usually rotate between toast and an egg and cereal. I don't want to eat toast every day.

Of course, I didn't have the wheat flour necessary for the scone recipe, so more creativity was called for. I stuck some oatmeal and some walnuts in the food processor for a wheat flour replacement. We'll see how that goes.

Dinner tonight was random vegetables with an asian sauce (random stuff with a fish sauce base) over leftover rice. It was okay. I made use of some frozen peas I bought in order to make a tuna casserole for Chris. If you know me well, you know that I think peas are for throwing, not for eating. I survived.

Wish me luck with this food efficiency adventure! At least I am not out of grapefruit juice. That would not stand. I would die.

Workout Fiend

Okay, so I'm not doing so hot with the writing or the pastry baking, or even the comfort food cooking.

I was also failing at working out.

Yesterday, I turned that around. I ran five miles. It took me far longer than it should have, but I did it. I did not let myself stop until it was done. Today, I did it all over again. I felt like it was harder this time, but I think that's cause my legs were feeling a bit beat up from yesterday already.

It must not have been as bad as it felt though because a guy came up to me and said, "how are you so happy working out?"

My response, "Huh?"

"You are smiling like crazy."

"Must be the music," I shrugged, but that isn't true. I was barely registering what was on my iPod, and I know it wasn't the stupid celebrity gossip news the Y had on, which I was reading through closed-captioning.

I couldn't explain it. Perhaps I was grimacing and it just looked like smiling? Thank my genetically good smile (no braces necessary). Regardless, it does feel really good to meet this goal. If I keep running 5 miles a day, a 5k run should be easy, and I have had the goal to run one sometime soon.

I would like to dedicate this blog and some of my motivation to my friends Diedre, Maggie, and Anna. They are killing the 5k runs lately, and they would totally kick my butt at running. They are kind of my workout heroes because all three are pretty badass.

Domestic Adventure in Wichita

Yesterday I was throwing a yarn art party to be enjoyed with wine and a cheese plate. I love cheese. I can handle a cheese plate (except maybe the choosing crackers part), but I don't know a thing about wine. So, again, my friend Kelsie acted as guide to Wichita, and she took me around to some pretty fabulous places. (I don't think I ever posted about the amazing goodies at Juarez Bakery, but everyone should go there.)

First she took me to a great little wine shop in old town. I don't really like wine, so the fact that the vibe in this place wasn't remotely pretentious was perfect. It was a cozy, earthy sort of wine shop with really helpful people (well, person, but Kelsie says the others are great too). Just the sort of place an ignorant wine purchaser like me should go. Unfortunately, the beer selection was kind of lame, so even though it's the closest alcohol selling store to where I live, I will still have to drive a little bit to buy beer I like.

Next stop on our adventure was The Spice Merchant where Kelsie has been telling me to buy coffee, and I have been too lazy to go. (Laziness is my excuse for everything). It has some great little knick-knacks and cooking gadgets, preserves, spices (of course), and the most important part--coffee. I smelled a ton of coffee beans roasted right there, and I fell in love with a rich, earthy, and sort of sweet smelling Organic Columbian. I generally lean towards Columbian coffee beans, so this isn't much of a surprise. It was a medium roast coffee. I think I have discovered I don't like dark roasts because I find I can taste a sort of acrid flavor in dark roasts. It took me a long time to figure this out. Instead, I like a good medium roast brewed dark.

Oh, and don't let me forget the most exciting part! The Spice Merchant has vanilla beans for $1.25 a bean. It's over $5 a bean when you get them from the grocery store. I am ecstatic, and there will be homemade ice cream this summer. I also got some almond syrup because I have decided to quit coffee creamer. I want to live a life of caffe au lait drinking. This morning, I frothed milk in a saucepan using a whisk (it turned out acceptably frothy, but I still need a frother), and I put it in my coffee with the syrup. It was nice, but I need to work on my ratios.

Then our adventure took us to Heritage Hut, where we picked up some crochet hooks and some yarn for Kelsie. It was a small store, so it didn't have a huge yarn selection, but they had really, really nice yarns. Although, I think sometime soon I will hop over to Twist to see what they have. I need to buy some knitting needles because Lindsey (the only guest who showed up to the party besides Kelsie and I) showed me how to knit, but I am currently using chop sticks, and the ends are not pointy enough.

Our adventure took a turn for the mundane after that. We bought cheese, fruit, and crackers at a regular old Dillon's grocery store.  Grocery store camembert might as well be brie. It doesn't smell attrocious at all, and that's just wrong. I need to find a decent place to buy a good foot-smelling camembert. Finally, we wrapped up our adventure by stopping by a Big Lots to get 12 wine glasses for $10 because I didn't have any. Not too shabby. They are very rounded, which was kind of amusing.

Because of tornado warnings, we spent part of the yarn art party in the stairwell in the basement of my apartment complex with lots of my neighbors, yet I think the yarn art party was a success. Most of the guests didn't come, but Lindsey was a delightful find, so she made all Kelsie and my efforts worth it. Social win.

The Gift(s): Part 2

[below is the continuation of a story begun on a friend's blog. If you'd like to pick up where I left off, post a comment with a link to your blog continuation of the story.]

"I dunno. What if he remembers?" She looked down at her hands.

"He won't."

She shrugged, "Well, I can't just let them go. Not without making sense of them."

He tilted his head forward and peered at her over the top of his glasses—a judging look. "Uh, yeah, that seems to be going so well."

An awkward silence drained away a few seconds, feeling like minutes.

Then her eyes narrowed, and the corners of her mouth turned up ever so slightly. "Actually, I think I have one figured out."

She pulled out the drawer of boxes, rapidly opening and closing the tiny boxes as she searched for the one she wanted. When she'd found it, she thrust the open box up under his nose. He stepped back so that he could actually see what was inside.

"A purple plastic dinosaur?"

"Yep." She smiled.

"So?"

"There was this time we went on a daylong road trip to see all the cheesy museums in a thirty mile radius. There was one filled with old sewing machines and another with moldy looking miners' clothes and pieces of fool's gold. It sounds boring, but we'd pop into a museum for twenty or thirty minutes—just long enough to take it in—then we would get back into the car and imagine what the people who owned the artifacts would think of their belongings rotting in a hokey small-town museum only visited by people passing through who needed to stretch their legs on the way to somewhere better. It was a great time."

Her eyes were unfocused, and she was smiling as she reminisced. He waved his hand in front of her face to bring her back to the present.

"And the dinosaur? Did you visit a museum of old dinosaur toys abandoned by children for generations?"

She punched him in the arm affectionately. "No. One of the gas stations was an old Sinclair station with a big cement dinosaur out front, but instead of being green, theirs was painted purple. I probably would have forgotten about it except when we got back in the car he pretended he was the dinosaur and lamented being stuck in the middle of nowhere painted an unnatural color. It was only a couple of seconds of insignificant joking."

"Maybe it wasn't so insignificant. Do you think he knew why it reminded him of you when he bought it? Or do you think he had no idea and bought it anyway?"

Hobby Adventure!!!

I like to define myself by my hobbies rather than what I do for a living (because what I do for a living isn't that interesting or meaningful to the world), but I think my hobbies are a bit too broad in scope.

I crochet. Well that's nice. What do I crochet? Originally, only rectangular things and only one stitch. This meant lots of scarfs and blankets. I branched out to hats using a cheater method called the "nifty knitter." This past summer/fall I learned a new stitch and began making hats on my own, and not just any hats but animals hats. Of course, animal hats aren't really that high in demand unless you know a lot of little kids. No, what I want to do now is protest crochet following in the spirit of these awesome protest knitters.

Also, I used to be primarily a baker, then I branched out into cooking, and I have lost the touch with some of my baking. It's time to reclaim the world of baking and perhaps emphasize savory things because I don't like sweets that much. Though my first desire is to bake something like what I ate for breakfast, which was sweet. It came from a local mexican bakery and looked like one of those McDonald's apple pie pastries in shape and had the same little breather gaps. However, it wasn't hard and crusty like the tiny apple pies. It was just about the flakiest pastry I have eaten and had a cream cheese filling. Taste-wise, it was like a cheese danish, but less sticky and more flakey. Absolutely amazing. I want to make those first.

Then I will focus more on useful pastries--things I can take for lunch. Little quiches, pot pies, a homemade hot pocket things, stromboli, etc. I better start getting better about stopping by the Y after work.