Dear Holmes, Rest in Peace

I write out rest in peace above because, well, I feel like RIP just doesn't capture the beauty of the concept. The acronym means "to cut or tear apart in a rough or vigorous manner" (dictionary.com). That just doesn't capture the mood of "rest in peace," though it does capture another side of death, just not the well-wishing part.

Anywho, Sherlock Holmes was my parakeet. When I woke up yesterday morning, he was no longer with us. After initial shock, tears, texting my boss I would be late for work, and a day feeling distracted by thoughts of "what did I miss?" all I can think is that I was responsible for this tiny creature, and I failed.

Needless to say, I won't be leaving my cat with my parents for the week that I stay with my sister and brother-in-law. I am feeling particularly paranoid, so cat needs to be with me. I will be back to waking her up every time she falls alseep because she sleeps so soundly and looks dead sometimes. I did that all the time in grad school. I was paranoid that my cat would die because I was too busy to really pay attention to her, so I would shake her awake in a panic.

With bird gone, I'm wondering, is there something wrong with my apartment that I should be worried about? Is he the canary in the mine? Or was I feeding him too much? Parakeets are prone to obesity and little birdy heart attacks. Was something wrong with the most recent millet spray I gave him as a treat?

And as much as I am sad that my bird who was happily tweeting the night before was not alive the next day, I am also worried about cat. Who will keep her company all day while I am at work? That clever little bird loved tormenting the cat. He'd hop down to the bottom of the cage where she can just barely reach, and then he'd hop away. They both really seemed to enjoy having the other around, which is good because I really worried about the impact of getting a cat on my parakeet, but he definitely seemed happier with her in the picture.

Now I have to worry about her being lonely, but I think it's time to ditch the giant bird cage, which is hard to move from place to place, and it's time to just have cat since she is a good road-trip buddy and can travel with me much better without a bird in the car. No more birds.

Enough melancholy. It's laundry and baking time. I mean, I just conquered all of those dishes I was dreading cleaning up all week. I need to make more.