A Proper Villain

So, in continuation of the thoughts of yesterday, I have realized that I don't think I can write a proper villain.

I've always had some issues with my novel's villain. It's a fantasy novel; he should be dripping with evil, though charming. I have these requirements of him, but that's about all he is at the moment. Actually, all he happens to be is charming. I don't know how to write evil. I can't get into that mindframe at all.

For one, I don't genuinely believe in human evil. There are evil acts, but I don't believe any human is evil. Technically, this character is not exactly human, but he's humanoid, and that's a problem for my imagination.

So how do I write this evil character? I'm not sure. If I really try to get into it, will it make me a bit batty or evil myself? CS Lewis was clear that in writing The Screwtape Letters from the point of view of a demon he risked losing something of himself. Getting into the mindset of a demon tainted him, and he had to work hard to get it out.

So do I indulge in my evil sides so that I can become this character when I write him the way I do my other characters? Or do I risk inauthenticity? I don't know.

Here's a fabulous Toni Morrison quote that I can't help but share in reflecting on the risks of writing about evil: "[C]haracters make claims, impose demands of imaginative accountability over and above the author's will to contain them."

Ready to Be Productive

So, I finally finished watching all of Lost. I thought the conclusion was a bit lame, but really, I'm somewhat impressed they had the guts to go with that sort of ending because it's hard, and most people go for the other endings because they are easier to do. So kudos to the Lost people for being brave.

I have been playing Epic Mickey, which I think is a cool game, but it turns out that I really don't have the stamina to complete a whole game. I am bored, and I am ready to be reading and writing again. It's good that I got that out of my system while my Blockbuster subscription was still in trial mode.

I have been reading The Female Man by Joanna Russ. It's a weird book, and it's only like 200-some pages, but it's been taking me forever to read. I'm starting to really get into it (at 170 pages in). I'm in reading mode again. Forget TV and video games.

I've been re-plotting my novel in my head for my most recent change in plan-of-action (this is the 3rd major change in the focus on this novel). I also need to make a research plan/book list to help in developing it. I can do some of the early revision now, but I really need to do some serious reading before I can get a more solid new direction. I have been working on this novel for over 7 years now. It needs to be finished.

Hopeful Goal: Living Cheap but Getting There

So here is my hopeful goal:

1. Work really hard and have no social life for the next few months to get my novel finished. Let's shoot for August or September.
2. Then get that novel accepted by some publisher or another before May.
3. Also, get said publisher to pay an advance of at least enough to pay for a publishing institute.
4. Go to publishing institute, work hard, network well, get job.

All of this is a really long shot. The road to the measly pay of a copy editor is a difficult one, and expecting a novel to get accepted let alone pay for a publishing institute is a crazy one, but I guess my chances are better than with lotto.

Blergh.

Step 1, Get Job. Step 2, Write Novel.

I'm on a writing kick again...not really. I don't actually have time to write a novel, but I really want to be working on my novel right now. I guess that's it. I need to find a 9 to 5 job where I can go home and write after work.

If all else fails, I'm applying with the Colorado Division of Wildlife again. They increased the pay. The rent in GJ went down, and now I know Amber who can hook me up with a geek circle there. It's only 6 months again, but maybe I can find something that's a good fit while I'm there. (Look at me assuming I'd get in, but Loyse would probably appreciate not to have to train someone.) It's so hard to apply for jobs while in grad school. I'm not able to put my full effort in.

Anywho, when I worked for them before, I had time to write (and to read!) because when I left work, I was done for the day. Maybe I can get one novel done in that 6 months, find a new job before my time there is up, and start seeking publication.

Quite honestly, though I was a bit bored at work and didn't like GJ much for social reasons, I was generally happiest with my life then. I worked out every day. I cooked amazing food. I worked on my novel. I read books that I wanted to read. I crocheted. The only deterrent is that I made almost no friends there, and my old roommate is moving away. Hopefully Amber can hook me up with a proper crowd of nerds.